How to Get Out of Overwhelm: Moving Back Into Your Window of Tolerance
“Okay… I’m overwhelmed. Now what?”
Once you realize you’re above your window of tolerance, feeling anxious, wired, or overwhelmed, you can start to support your nervous system in coming back.
Not by forcing it. But by gently helping it settle.
Because when you’re in this state, your system isn’t looking for solutions. It’s looking for safety.
First: you don’t have to figure everything out right now
When you’re overwhelmed, your system is in a high alert state.
Dan Siegel describes this as a kind of dis-integration—where different parts of your brain aren’t working together in the way they usually do.
The part of your brain that detects threat is highly active, and the part that helps you think clearly and reflect is less available.
That’s why:
You can’t think things through the way you normally would
You feel reactive or overwhelmed
Trying to “logic your way out” doesn’t really work
So the goal here isn’t to solve the problem right away.
It’s to help your system come back into integration—a state where you can think, feel, and respond with more flexibility.
Grounding: giving your system a break
One of the simplest ways to start that process is through grounding.
I use the definition from Lisa M. Najavits:
Grounding is shifting your attention away from emotional pain and toward the external world.
So instead of going deeper into your thoughts, you’re gently bringing your focus outward.
And importantly: grounding is not about solving your problems or processing your emotions.
It’s about giving your system a break.
Why attention matters more than you think
A big part of Siegel’s work is about attention—where you place your focus.
When you’re in hyperarousal, your attention often gets pulled into:
Worst-case scenarios
Overthinking loops
What might go wrong
Grounding gently interrupts that.
You’re choosing to place your attention on something neutral, concrete, and present.
And over time, this actually helps your brain shift out of that high-alert state.
Simple grounding practices you can try
Grounding usually involves your senses—what you can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell.
Here are a few options you can experiment with:
Mental grounding (focusing your attention):
Look around and name all the green things you can see
Describe an object around you in detail: colour, texture, materials
Imagine making a sandwich step-by-step
Physical grounding (using your body):
Press your feet into the floor and wiggle your toes
Clench your fists or press your hands together and notice the tension, then release it and notice the difference
Grab something soft and describe it in as much detail as possible
Soothing grounding (creating a sense of safety):
Think of your favourite colour or animal
Picture a scene from your favourite season
Bring to mind a place where you feel calm and imagine it using all 5 senses: what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel
You can also combine senses, like sipping tea while noticing the warmth and describing the mug.
“Name it to tame it”
Another simple idea from Siegel is:
“Name it to tame it.”
When you put words to what you’re experiencing, you help bring your thinking brain back online.
This can be really simple:
“I’m noticing a lot of anxiety right now”
“Part of me feels really overwhelmed”
You’re not trying to analyze it. Just noticing and naming.
This small shift can help you feel a bit more grounded and less caught in it.
What this actually does over time
When you practice grounding and gently shifting your attention, you’re helping your system move from a high arousal state to a more regulated one.
And when that happens, you naturally regain access to:
Clearer thinking
Problem solving
Emotional processing
So even though grounding isn’t about solving anything in the moment, it creates the conditions where things start to feel more workable.
A gentle way to start
If you notice you’re overwhelmed today, you might try one small thing:
Press your feet into the floor
Look around and name 5 things you can see
Hold something and really notice it
You’re not trying to do this perfectly.
Just offering your system a small moment of support.
Over time, these moments help your system move out of survival mode and back into a place that feels more steady, more connected, and more like yourself.
And if you want support with this, this is the kind of work I do with clients in Vancouver and across BC—finding ways to work with your nervous system that actually fit your life.
FAQs about Hypoarousal and Window of Tolerance
Why can’t I think my way out of anxiety?
Because when you’re overwhelmed, the thinking part of your brain is less available. Supporting your body and attention helps your thinking come back online.
What does “integration” mean?
It means different parts of your brain and body are working together, giving you more flexibility in how you respond.
How often should I practice grounding?
Even a few moments a day can make a difference, especially over time.
What if I still feel overwhelmed after grounding?
That’s okay. Sometimes it takes repetition or additional support. You’re still moving in the right direction.
