Thank you, Justin Bieber: A Therapist’s Reflections After Coachella

image from variety.com

i was sitting in my apartment watching his coachella set, kind of casually at first, and then suddenly, i time-travelled back to the 2010s.

he reminded me about being a teenager deep in the hair flip never say never era. baking overly ambitious desserts with friends (homemade marshmallows, cookie dough stuffed cinnamon buns, giant cakes) music blasting, wearing our j biebs concert t-shirts. those were such specific, sweet moments. and he was woven into them just as much as me and my friends were.

and now it’s 15 years later, and we’re all still here.

as he said on stage, we grew up together. we watched him become a person in real time—messy, talented, struggling, trying again. i think a lot of us were doing the same, just much less publicly.

there was this moment where he was singing to a video of his younger self. tiny, bright, wide-eyed. and something in my chest just softened. i immediately thought about the inner child work i do with clients, and the version of that work i do with myself (and my own therapist!).

because what would it feel like to look at your younger self like that? not with embarrassment or distance or “ugh,” but with love and respect?

what i think i saw, what i hope i saw, was someone who’s made it through enough to be able to turn back and say: thanks little me, you got me here.

and that’s a giant accomplishment.

especially knowing even a fraction of what he’s been through publicly (and probably so much more privately), it felt meaningful to witness that kind of moment on a stage that big. like a reclamation, or maybe just a quiet integration happening in front of thousands of people.

it made me think about how easy it is to forget that we are our younger selves. not separate. not something to outgrow or leave behind. just us, continuing.

and maybe the work (or, at least part of it) is learning how to stay in relationship with those earlier versions of ourselves in a way that feels kind.

and it feels really special to have that reminder come from someone who was so important to me when i was younger.

so, from one millennial trying to figure out how to love her younger self, to another

thank you, justin.